I reckon they inspired The Golden Girls
Jan 31st, 2006 by Accidental Thinker
One of the things I love about Kent’s family is how close-knit they are. Four generations of extended family turned out for one of the games we attended last week, for the dual purpose of visiting with us traveling Floridians and cheering on the star basketball player. It was a riveting game, even for this normally apathetic viewer. Kent’s nephew played with finesse (to my untrained eye) and sank basket after basket. His reputation preceded him, with the opposing team working hard to shut him out. They were not successful. He was once again the dominant scorer, leading his teammates to victory — with a couple of college scouts in the audience to boot. It also just so happened to be his 18th birthday. A great day all around and I’m glad we were there for it.
A favorite highlight of all our trips to Tennessee, though, is always the visits with "The Aunts." They crack me up with their squabbling and their teasing and their stories! It’s like being thrown smack in the middle of an episode of The Golden Girls, only with no script, y’all.
Aunt #1 is the "Rose" of the bunch, regaling us with tales of growing up as one of five hillbilly sisters in a log cabin in the mountains of East Tennessee. She is always the first visit on our list; the aunt we spend the most time with and the one most likely to catch us up on all the family scuttlebutt. She’s also the one who amuses us with oddities like reading the obituaries to see if her own name is there yet. And laughs at herself for doing it. The best way to get in good with Aunt #1, I’ve discovered, is to inquire after her "stories" — the soap operas she faithfully records and watches every day. Treating her to lunch at her favorite restaurant, the one with the legendary BBQ, earns a fast ticket into her good graces, too.
Aunt #2 is a pistol. The "Sofia" character, if you will. As the oldest of the Tennessee-dwelling sisters, she’s the de facto matriarch. 81 years old? Emphysema? Trifling details that do not keep her from enjoying life and saying exactly what she thinks about everything. I remember the first time I met her. Kent warned me in advance to wear lipstick, because she had once chided the girlfriend of some family member or other, behind her back, for not wearing any makeup. Not even a bit of lipstick. The story has reached legend status in the family, and I still quake in fear at the thought of Aunt #2 catching me sans freshly applied coloring on my lips. But I’m not the only one who lives in mock mortal terror. My sister-in-law reached for her own lipstick at exactly the same instant I did, just as we were pulling into the driveway of #2’s house for a pre-arranged date to take The Aunts to the aforementioned mighty fine BBQ joint (after the requisite Friday visits to their respective beauty parlors, of course). Kent and his brother had a good laugh at our pretense, but it is their fault for striking the fear in our hearts in the first place. I’ve learned over the years, though, that like Kent’s late mother, Aunt #2 is all hilarious bark and no bite. We apply the lipstick just so we can tell her we did it ‘specially for her.
We sometimes wonder why these two, both widows now, don’t just co-habitate since they are together so much anyway, but spend a little time in their presence and you begin to understand why full-time companionship might not be the best idea. They do much for each other, but they bicker, a lot. It’s quite comical, in that sitcomy way, and the rest of the family serves as the built-in laugh track. This trip, the funniest line occurred while visiting at the house of Aunt #3 (the level-headed "Dorothy" of the trio), when the subject of Aunt #1’s fudge came up. She makes it every Christmas and confided that this year, she tried something new. Pineapple fudge. The words were barely out of her mouth when Aunt #2 quipped, with perfect timing and just the right combination of charming southern drawl and affected disdain, "It wasn’t any good." Everyone, including The Aunts, busted up laughing. No one ever said they lacked for opinions. They have ’em, and they aren’t afraid to share ’em.
Those aunts of Kent’s are tough but loving and lovable southern mountain girls to their very core. They might call themselves hillbillies, but I call them born and bred entertainers. They certainly have an appreciative audience in me!
My First Wife’s family is a lot like that. They live in the heart of Mississippi.
Cute story. It reminded me of two elderly great aunts of mine. They were my grandfather’s sisters, a hoot and lived togther. Once they spent several days complaining about blurred vision, headaches and sore feet. It seems they were wearing each others glasses and shoes. Bwahahhahaha 🙂
THis reminds me of my mother-in-law (ex) and her two sisters. THey are a trip that you hate to leave. The stuff that comes out of their mouths about each other is insane and often times has us splitting a side. 3 women in their 80’s who have nothing to do but happily pick on each other and the men they have dated, or the clothes they have worn. I love them all dearly. SOunds like you really had a blast. 🙂
Maybe it’s a Southern thing, but the Aunts you described made me nostalgic for my grandma and her sisters, who all lived in Alabama and bickered non-stop. And all of us from below the Mason-Dixon have the great aunt (aunt, mother, etc.) who thinks that women without lipstick are morally suspect … Whenever I’m back home, I don’t leave the house without “putting on my face” for fear that it’ll create a scandal.
I sometimes wonder if my kids and their cousins think of me and my sisters in much the same way. 🙂
The aunts sound like a hoot! Kent’s nephew sounds awesome and it is so cool so much family came to see him play. I always tried to watch all my nephews’ games.
Have a great day!
I just love the quirks & oddities of people. Those aunties sound fascinating and fun!!
I’m sure you did a lot of good, hearty laughing. Sounds like a great time was had by all.
What a couple. We should put them in a house for a month and make a reality series out of it. I’ll bet it would get great ratings.
Families are SPECIAL, even if they are a little off base and goofy at times. But you have to LOVE the laughs they can bring to us at times! ~ jb///
Must be wonderful to have such characters in the family, they sound a hoot :o)
I hope I’m as lively at that age. It’s wonderful.
Fun post! Really enjoyed it.
There is no greater joy or blessing than to spend time with family!
Us Tennessee gals have a lot of sass 😉 I’m gonna be just as quirky as the aunties when I get old..As a matter of fact I’m already gettin’ there!!
Sounds like one my old family reunions on my dad’s side. I haven’t been to one in ages… not sure I want to go back. 😉