Able to leap War and Peace in a single bound
Jan 10th, 2006 by Accidental Thinker
Maia has recently decided that everyone has a superpower, and I was informed the other day that mine is reading. Reading? Really? A superpower? Who knew? All this time, I’ve been selfishly thinking that my love of reading was just for my own personal entertainment. But this is, after all, the child who, when I told her once that reading makes you smart, immediately exclaimed in reply, “No wonder you’re so smart!” So if I am to be gifted with a superpower by my superpower-granting daughter, I can understand why it would be this one.
As I presume anyone newly possessed of such novel talents would do, I’ve been contemplating how I might use this alleged reading superpower to benefit humanity, subvert the bad guys, and save the world. But first things first. I need a catchy alias. The Battling Bookworm? The Revolutionary Reader? The Paperback Protector? The Literate Liberator? So many good candidates to choose from! And, equally important, what about the requisite spandex costume? I certainly couldn’t practice my new powers without looking fashionably ridiculous. I’m picturing something in black and white, reminiscent of pages fresh off the printing press, with a cape meticulously tailored to evoke a book cover. But wait a minute, I watched The Incredibles. I’m afraid I’ll have to nix the cape. Finally, I’ll need some scholarly sidekicks to complete my new identity. They will help me carry out my mission to read every book ever written and use the acquired wisdom for good, rather than evil. Any volunteers?
As for how to vanquish the enemy, I’m new at this sort of thing, but I have some preliminary ideas. I mean, books would make good weapons, right? Especially the weightier volumes of hardcover variety. I’m sure with a little practice, I could aim well enough to take down an illiterate adversary or two with my specially crafted, one-of-a-kind, auto-firing book catapult. Except how could someone who loves books treat them with such disrespect? I’d probably be too worried about damaging them or not getting them back. Besides, the logistics would never work. How could I reasonably carry around a good supply of ammunition? Instead, when I really need to send a message to the masses, I can always lead a riot of… peaceful reading? I can picture it now. An angry mob reading silently in protest over some dastardly and evil book ban. Yeah, that’ll show ’em!
So maybe this particular superpower isn’t about what I do with books so much as what is inside them. That’s where the real power lies. Books open up new worlds of knowledge and imagination. With a good book I can learn something new, challenge myself to be better at any number of things, or just lose myself in a cleverly fabricated yarn. Reading won’t give me x-ray vision or superhuman strength or the ability to fly, but it keeps my intellect engaged and stimulated, which I hope in turn makes me an informed and productive member of society. Since the only foe I’m fighting is a stagnant mind, that’s good enough for me. And hey, if I’ve set a good example for my kids to be readers themselves, that’s really all the superpower I need.
I needed a smile, and wow did I get it! What an image you’ve given me ;o)
Sorry to say I’m low on superpowers and wouldn’t even make an impressive sidekick – however I can hurl a book if provoked!
Got to add you to my links :o)
Able to outrace a speedreader and leap War and Peace in a single bound.
Catchy. 😉
You make a brilliant superhero, not only for reading but for writing too. I loved it! 😀
You DO realize that you are on the hook now? We are all expecting a picture of you in the requisite spandex costume.
Perhaps a short video as you effortlessly negotiate the stacks with stunning gymnastic maneuvers …. only to land triumphantly with your hands placed defiantly on your hips and a broad smile on your face.
Wonder woman, eat your heart out! And Peguins goose is cooked. 😉
Monique ~ Catchy Title. I liked the Super Hero Reader idea. How about the name “Accidental Reader”? Sounds kind of LAZY doesn’t it? Well really… what would you expect from ME? ~ jb///
P.S. Am I the ONLY one who always gets (lots of) Runtime syntax errors on your website?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our battles could be fought with words instead of swords.
I have the perfect supply of endless ammo for you…there have to be 342 thousand set of Encyclopaedia Britannica running around from 1952 that are so far out of date as to be humorous(…one day we *might* send a man into space), but no one can find it in their hearts to chuck them.
My daughter loves to read, but my son only gets excited about reading when a new Harry Potter book comes out.
I think your “super power” is a great one. And, if Maia thinks you’re super smart, then that means she respects you. That is SUPER!
Wonderful message. I may have to “borrow” this in spirit to convey it to my students.
I read Mike’s comment about the spandex super-hero outfit and laughed so hard that I forgot whatever it was I came here to say!!! Cute!
How about “Rad(ical) Reader.” Able to dazzle with Dickens, thrash with Thoreau, and terrify with Tolstoy. And if that fails, at least able to baffle with bulls***.
Suuuuperrrr Reader to the rescue! 🙂
I had a lot of fun writing this one and you guys crack me up with some of your comments.
Sorry Mike, the spandex photos and aerial gymnastics video will sadly not be forthcoming any time soon. 🙂
Weapons? How about using all the paperbacks in every garage sale I’ve ever been to? Nah, that would just be piling them up somewhere else. 🙂
Should you make a list of your favorite books. I’m always wanting to read a good book, but the ones I pick seem to be drab and unexciting. I’m so tired of the same old murder mystery stuff.
Rapid Reader maybe? No cape? What’s up with that?
You gotta have a cape.
TLP: Capes are very, very dangerous. All that loose, flowing fabric is an accident waiting to happen. Getting sucked into the engines of passing aircraft and such. Terrible tragedies, really. Capes are not at all recommended for modern superheroes.
Mmmm, I couldn’t be your sidekick. Maybe your arch-nemesis, though. You see, I hate to read books. I can’t remember the last time I finished one. I just have the attention span of a fly.
Reading through your other blogs here, I had a couple comments. Regarding your travel story, I think it’s always best to trust your instinct. And regarding your writer’s block when it comes to fiction, I have that too big time. They do say, “Write what you know.” Maybe that’s why I found your travel story was so compelling.
Too good. Too good. Too good.
As for advice: I’d suggest you get back with Maia because it was her imagination that gave rise to all this. She’s probably full of ideas. Nothing like kids to make the world a fun place to live.
There is nothing like a good book that carries you away. You reminded me of how much time I spend that could be spent reading.
[…] Over a year ago, the answer came in the form of a job candidate who volunteers for our local Adult Literacy League. This candidate did not get the job (a tough call between two very qualified people), but her cause struck an instant chord. Why had I never thought of this before? Helping others learn to read and write—skills that mean so much to me, lifelong skills that will unlock potential and open doors and can never be unlearned? This is something I can wholeheartedly embrace. I have always been an avid and passionate reader and general lover of the written word. My career centers on the field of training, specifically in the development and writing of training materials. I am thoroughly schooled in adult learning principles. Back in my college days, I even served as an academic tutor. Could there be any more perfect match for merging my interests, experience, and abilities? I think not. So the notion of becoming a literacy volunteer gained a foothold in my consciousness, where it has lingered persistently, refusing to release its grip. […]
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