“Graceful” was never my middle name

Nov 5th, 2005 by Accidental Thinker

I’m sporting a new look tonight … a goose egg in the back of my head. All because of a birthday party. An ice skating party. You already see where this is going, don’t you?

I had been planning to drop Maia off at the party, but common sense got the better of me since she had never been ice skating before. I stayed, at her request. She was afraid she might get hurt, and so was I. You get one guess as to which of us actually got injured.

Things started out great. I hadn’t been ice skating in 15 years but was getting into a groove, thinking about how it’s just like riding a bike. After 30 minutes, I hadn’t fallen once. But I should have known better than to get complacent, because I am a klutz. Things just happen to me. I have a scar on my leg from a spill down the stairs earlier this year. I have a scar on my wrist from an incident with a binder at work. I’m the one who tripped on a curb and landed underneath a parked car once in college, ending up on crutches with a sprained ankle (no alcohol involved, which made the incident that much harder to explain!). It’s kind of amazing, actually, that I’ve never broken any bones. I’m sure that’s just a matter of time.

So there I was, skating with Maia, minding my own business, when for no good reason my feet started to slide out from under me. My body ignored my brain’s commands to right itself, and my butt connected with the ice. But my head wanted a piece of the action too, and thunked hard. Very hard. And very, VERY loud. People came rushing over and started asking me difficult questions, like what day it was. It was a test, and I was relieved to have the right answers. It scared poor Maia to death. Someone brought me ice (wait, wasn’t it ice that caused the problem in the first place?). A knot swelled large and fast. It still hurts.

Oh, but it gets even better. There was another birthday party going on at the Ice Den this afternoon. It just happened to be for one of our neighbors. So, in addition to Maia’s first grade classmates and their parents, every single middle school aged kid that lives in my immediate neighborhood witnessed my humiliation.

Whose bright idea was it to have an ice skating party for 7-year-olds, anyway? Then again, this 34-year-old mom was the only one who got hurt. If it was going to happen, it was going to happen to me. The good news is that this is one individual who knows how to get back on the horse, so to speak, and after a brief interlude to ice my swollen noggin, monitor for signs of a concussion, and nurse my bruised pride, I did get back out there. Happily, I have no further misadventures to report.

Posted in I'm Only Human |

11 Responses to ““Graceful” was never my middle name”

on 06 Nov 2005 at 1:24 am1Lewis

I think there’s something that happens without us realizing it as we age. Somewhere between 30 and 35, our brains change and leave us prone to injury.

I helped a friend set up a trampoline in his back yard for his kids a while back. Once we were through, I started jumping on it and decided to show off for the 6 or 8 neighborhood kids that had gathered around. I tried to do a backflip.

Something in my brain made my body turn to rubber, though, and all I did was this sort of airborne hula dance and ended up boinging myself face first into the trampoline. No injuries, except to my pride.

Something in my brain apparently recognizes that if my butt is higher up than my head, it’s not a good thing and causes my body to shut down, I guess to minimize damage on impact.
on 06 Nov 2005 at 2:22 pm2Paul N.

Horse? There was a horse to get back on. Lucky you. Glad you’re ok. You’re a good story-teller.
on 06 Nov 2005 at 6:36 pm3FTS

You skate like I cook — but I can skate like YOU cook.

I think that makes us even. 😉
on 06 Nov 2005 at 8:43 pm4miki

Sorry to hear that you are injured, pride goeth before the fall! Isn’t that the truth! Hope you are feeling better soon, stop by and visit my blog sometime.
http://www.thoughtsofaramblingmiki.blogspot.com
we can swap embarrasing stories someday.
on 06 Nov 2005 at 9:47 pm5Mike (ex scientia)

Ouch!!!! I’m glad you are OK – stay that way, please.
on 06 Nov 2005 at 10:32 pm6Monique

The update is that I have some other bruises that weren’t immediately apparent yesterday, and my neck and some other body parts are a little sore. Can you really get whiplash from ice skating??
on 07 Nov 2005 at 11:57 am7Jamie Dawn

OUCH!! And I really am sorry for laughing…. I couldn’t help it.
on 07 Nov 2005 at 12:33 pm8TSB

Awww… I hope you’re feeling better soon. I bet your daughter gets a good laugh out of it sone day 🙂
on 07 Nov 2005 at 10:31 pm9Ivy

I crashed and burned at a roller skating party. Did all kinds of intersting acrobatic moves to keep from taking out ten kids with me in the fall. Then looked up to see one of the dads with a video camera. I’m still waiting to see it on America’s Funniest Videos.
on 08 Nov 2005 at 7:09 am10steelcowboy

Ouch. Hope you get better!
on 13 Jun 2007 at 7:56 pm11Emily

Hehe, I did enjoy this post as well! I have always been one of those bad Moms that laughs when a kid falls down. If they are badly hurt I can seem to control myself, but if it is just a little spill, a few bruises, maybe a skinned knee, I can not control myself. So you hit the nail on the head by sending a link to this post! Thanks and I really do hope it healed quickly and without pain!